So I have just under two weeks to try and lose some weight! Lol! I usually do better when I'm down to some scrunch time. Makes me feel like I can actually make it all the way! We have family coming in to town and we're going to be spending the weekend at a cabin up in Lake Lure with a pool! I want to swim so I need to lose a few pounds so I look decent in a bathing suit! Plus I've noticed my clothes are getting a little "tight" again....ugh! It's a never ending cycyle and battle. But I am looking forward to seeing family again....this is from my hubby's side and we don't get together much so this will be nice. Kinda late 4th of July and early Mother in Law's birthday celebration. It'll be fun!!!
Anyone want to help me stick to my diet? Lol!!! I need encouragement and inspiration!!!!
It's a beautiful day outside! The sun is shining and the birds are chirping! Lovely day for a wedding! I am attending an outdoor wedding at a local "plantation" this afternoon. It's the wedding of a guy I dated briefly years and years ago but we moved past that a long time ago and I hardly remember dating him at all. He kinda became a family friend after we ended out short term "relationship". I am thrilled for him and his bride! She seems like a super sweet girl and they've been together for four years now. I think it's going to be a lovely, HUGE wedding and I'm looking forward to it. I think it will have all the southern charm it can hold! I love weddings, any kind really! The romance and tenderness, good wishes, etc. It all just makes me wanna tear up - I'm a helpless romantic!
My dear husband comes home today - I am so excited! Even though he just left on Monday I feel like he has been gone forever. He'll be home for a week or two I think before he's gone again for two weeks. We have family from his side coming up in two weeks, we're going to spend some time with them at a cabin up in Lake Lure. I'm very excited to see them again! It's kinda an early celebration for my mother-in-law's birthday too. It'll be nice to have a little "mini" vaca with them though....
Gianna is in her "big girl" bed now! After searching and pricing toddler beds I realized I needed to find another route for us. So I started analyzing her crib and realized I could remove the front sliding rail and it would be a toddler/day bed for her! So with a little help from my sister and a lot of wrangling with my screw driver I got if off and set up for her! She has been thrilled with it, since she can get in and out of it by herself! She seems so grown up now, so far she's napped and slept in it and she hasn't fallen out or complained or anything! Next we're off to get underwear for potty training and a booster seat so we can get rid of her high chair which she just seems to big for lately! It's so neat, and a little sad too, to see how fast she's growing and changing everyday. I see now why people keep having kids, because they love that baby stage so much they just want to keep reliving it over and over! Lol, but I am looking ahead and seeing what the future holds and I don't want to be dealing with a little baby while trying to see Gianna through whatever lies ahead! I have never once regretted my decision to have my tubes tied after her, and I don't forsee that ever happening. I realize with the life style we've chosen (Beej being on the road alot and hopefully me with him one day.....) one child is plenty!!! Gianna is the light of our life and we enjoy every minute with her and we will for the rest of her life!!!!
Beej is away right now....and well, I'm feeling pretty crappy this week. I've been fighting some sort of "bug" thing, my dad seems to have a touch of it too. I don't feel sick enough to stay in bed (couldn't anyway) but I feel sick enough to make me feel yucky and out of sorts. Gianna has been on edge today as well and that's not helped my mood. I think she just needs to go home (we've been staying with my parents) and she's ready to see her daddy too. The guys are at a camp this week and they have NO cell signal and NO internet. The internet thing didn't surprise me but I wasn't counting on no cell phone usage. I'm about to go nuts, I didn't realize how much I count on those phone conversations to keep me "going" every day. This has been the longest week! When he does get somewhere with a signal he is usually in a hurry and they rest of the guys are making so much noise I can't hear him much anway! I'm not even really sure where he's at....sad, I know. Somewhere in God-forsaken Virginia.
Spent some time by the pool today, soaking up sun. A good tan makes me feel so much better about myself! Lol! Tanned fat is always better I guess!!! Lol! I am planning to get the P90X Dvd's soon, I want to start that ASAP. I've actually seen and know people who have used it with great results and I'm ready for some great results! It's a little pricey though and I haven't had the money to get it so far. I'm hoping by the end of July we can get it and Beej and I can both do it. It would be nice to loses some weight before my birthday at the end of August. Not that I'm doing anything special - Beej will be out of town. But still, I wouldn't mind it!
I finished my last book by Dean Koontz - Intensity. Great book!!! Not my favorite by him but still very captivating! I started Odd Thomas today by the same author. My brother in law thinks it's Dean's best work and so far I'm throughly enjoying it! It's a series though and I hate reading the first book in the series and not having the next one to read....but since we buy most of our books at thrift stores you aren't guaranteed series!!! Lol!!! So I'm going to finish this one and hope we find the next one soon! Or I'll have to make a run to the library......
I am currently awaiting my husbands arrival home. Although he hasn't even left where he is yet and probably won't for several more hours I am still waiting, patiently! Gianna didn't take a nap today and she's still up and going strong as of right now! I'm hoping if she stays up super late she'll sleep in a little!!! Hoping is the key word there! I'm going to put a dark blanket over her window too so that the sunshine doesn't awake her any early then need be!
I did some yard work for a lady I know today, my little sister helped. We were trying to earn a little extra cash! I need a new dress for a wedding this weekend. Nothing worse then going to a special event dressed in the same ole same ole!!!
Beej leaves again on Monday for the week. We'll miss him terribly but I'm glad he's getting to do what he loves! I am hoping we can get some basic tracks laid down for my song. We decided to record an older one I wrote that I still like! Lol! But I don't think I like the lyrics anymore, they seem a bit boring. So I'm thinking I may try to re work those here in a little bit. I have a few ideas, keeping the original idea of the song just trying to bring a few more complex ideas in maybe!
I have recently started watching a new show on Thursday nights - it's called The Listener! Very cute show and very cute actor too! But it comes on at 10pm and most of the time I give out half way through and go to bed! Oh well! Perhaps I will watch the whole thing tonight, I'm kinda wired at the moment!!!
Well today was my first day "out on the road" with Beej and the rest of the guys from Jupiter Wind....it has been a long day and I haven't done anything compared to them. But sometimes I think just sitting around is more tiring then actually doing stuff. It's been raining all day and I hate that, it puts me in a dreary mood. And for some reason this time out I really miss Gianna already. She is so cute and has such an adorable personality! She's getting so grown up too. Anyway, back to the band and camp....they did a taco bar for dinner tonight, that was good. The service went well. The guys did about four songs, of course my perfectionist hubby/drummer wasn't pleased with his performance because of a couple "mistakes" they made with the structure of a couple of songs! He'll forever be that way and it's a good thing really. Sometimes though I think that they are trying to hard for the wrong market.....The Christian market isn't open to anyone new or anything fresh or out of the box. I really wish they could totally put aside the whole church/youth group thing and really start playing some cool places. And writing some amazing stuff, I know it's in them! Constantly having to think "worship material" really limits you. I think Beej is destined for things much bigger then the Christian market can imagine...I don't think I want to market any of my stuff (whenever that may be) in the Christian radio market. They is no room for experimenting or trying new stuff. It's all by the rule kinda stuff and that gets old, thus I don't even listen to christian radio anymore - Christian artists yes but not the radio. They are still playing nothing much Steven curtis Chapman, Twila Paris and MercyMe. But who knows, right?!!! I'm really tired and I think I'm going to call it a night soon.....
Today is really sunk it that one of my dearest and long time friend, Rebecca is really getting married Saturday! I am so thrilled for her! I know that this has been a long time coming and even though she's had a rough few weeks planning her big day I know that come Saturday she'll be so happy to see it all come together! She will be beautiful and radiant bride....I wish her and her hubby-to-be, Jamie, all the best! I grew up with Becca, we talked many hours as young girls about our wedding day.....I didn't have a wedding and Becca is realizing how hard it is to put one together! I guess this is probably the closest I've ever been to a bride....Becca of course asked me to be in the wedding and I agreed at first but realized that right now I couldn't do it financially or time wise and I didn't feel I could put all the effort into being a good Matron of Honor as I should so I relinquished the position to someone else....*sniffle* I'm a little sad I did though now....but I know it will be a galent and wonderful wedding party! I am eager and thrilled for Saturday to be here! Tonight we had her Lingerie Shower, and even though most of her guests didn't show, we had fun! I had my first alcoholic drink (thanks, Becca!!). It was Ok, I'm not the drinking type though....it was something like Gin & Tonic with a big of Sprite for taste! She had me try her beverage spiked with rum and I nearly gagged on that!!! Haha!
Tomorrow I get the awesome privilege of going on the "road" with Beej and his band for a couple of days! They are going to be doing music for a camp this week in Boone, NC. I'm going along for the ride and a mini vacation! Gianna is staying with her Janou while we're gone and I know she'll have fun playing in the pool and spending time with her aunt and uncles as well....I thank God that my mom is so willing and able to keep Gianna all the time for Beej and I. I don't know what I would do without the breaks! And they are even better when I know I can trust who she is with!
I'm tired and ready to call it a day already at 9pm! I think I'll go relax and watch a little TV or read......
I've been hearing the call to be skinny for quite some time now!!! Some people hate this "call" and wish it would go away, they don't want to be like "every one else". But I want it, I want it bad, so bad - yet somehow I can't seem to channel that desire into actually making it happen. I see women I want to use as inspiration but they don't actually inspire me for long. I just dream and wish. I start a diet, do good for a week (two if I'm working really hard!), lose a few pounds, get excited about that and then go right back to what got me fat before.....dang me! I just don't know what it's going to take to get me back on track for good and where I want to be. I don't just want to lose a few pounds so I'll feel a little better. I want to get down to my "ideal" weight and maintain it, for good! I'm tired of my own excuses and I'm frustrated with my lack of motivation and diligence in the matter. I wish I had someone to help me and do it along side me but I have one of two problems - people who are already there or people who don't care to get there.....either way it doesn't help me any! But I wish I didn't need people's help or motivation to motivate me. What am I missing? I am unhappy with myself, I am unhappy when ever I get dressed each day, I'm unhappy when I see my reflection in the mirror, I am unhappy when I see old pictures of my cute, skinny self back when!!!! Ah, well....one day I keep saying, one day....
Perhaps I'm feeling even worse then usual because of the nasty, greasy dinner I had....again my own fault, I ordered it. But now I feel heavy and bloated. And again, I'm going to be meeting alot of new people since Beej is working as a full time musician and I don't look my best. Does anyone have any motivational speeches they want to give me maybe?
Can anyone help me get motivated to reach my goal?
Today has been uneventful. I have been staying with my brothers and sister while my mom took my dad to the airport in Charlotte. We spent most of the day out by the pool even though the sun only peeked out a couple of times from behind the clouds. The boys enjoyed swimming and Gianna loves being in the water! I've got to get her a kiddie pool to play in, the one she had last year got busted. Cheap plastic!!! Lol!
I am very excited about the band, Mute Math's new album coming out in August! Just in time for my birthday! They have released one of the new songs on their myspace page (myspace.com/mutemath). It's called 'The Nerve'! Love it and I'm so thrilled to hear their new stuff......Beej and I saw them perform back in April and it had to be the best live show I've ever seen! They were incredible! I would love to see them several more times.....I have a little bit of a celebrity crush on the lead singer, Paul Meany!!! Lol! He is too cute and so talented!
Once again, I have fallen off the diet/exercise band wagon. I just can't seem to be entirely committed to it and I don't know why. No one ever wants to stick to it with me - there is one problem! I'm not good at doing things by myself. It is so frustrating, mainly I'm frustrated with myself for being so easily swayed. I feel so much better when I diet and exercise yet that still doesn't motivate me to stick with it. I need a cure!!!
Beej goes out of town for 6 days on Monday - the band is providing music at a camp up near Boone. Then he'll be home for a couple of days then off again the following Monday through Saturday...then he'll be home for a week, I think, and then off again for another week. I am thinking about going to AL one of the weeks he is gone with my Mom to visit family and friends that live there. I'm also planning to potty train one week while he is gone! It is looking like more and more of a daunting task! We haven't moved her into a big girl bed yet but I think I'll go ahead and try anyway.....the thought of waking up to pee-peed sheets every morning isn't very tantalizing though! I wish I could just skip this part!!!!
Nothing makes me feel better or more alive and happy then laying out and soaking up the sun! My dad says that one day I'll regret it when I'm 45 and all wrinkled! But hey, for now I'm one happy girl! Gianna loves being outdoors, I guess because we spend too much time indoors. The pool is her new friend and love! I bought her some "floaties" today but she has no idea on how to "swim" so she just kept dunking her face in the water and swallowing it!!! Lol, oh well! For now we'll stick with the float ring! My sister was back from her week vacation in Gulf Shores, AL. She went with my aunt and uncle as a belated 16th birthday present. It's nice to have her back though, she's loads of fun! She's tans like crazy though so she's all dark! I'm jealous! Hehe!
This is Beej's last week at his "day job"!!! He's so excited and I'm excited for him. We've had a even more conformation from some people who don't even really know us. But what they said was right on with what we already felt God was calling us and leading us to do! It's always nice though when God sends a little encouragement through people who have no idea what a blessing what they are saying is! The band has a lot of gigs coming up. Beej is going to be gone almost three weeks straight - with a few days here and there back at home. I know he loves being out on the road and for now I'm Ok with being home with Gianna. But I think a little farther down the road, when she's older, I do want to travel more with him.....I love to travel, it makes home seem even sweeter once you are back!
I am starting a new book today - my hubby collects books! Lol! He has recently started going to thrift stores and buying books for super cheap so we now have a small library started and I love it! It's so nice knowing there is always a new book in the house I haven't read! My new favorite author is Dean Koontz. Amazing story teller and writer. His stuff is unique and I really enjoy reading it. Some mystery, some romance, some sci fi, some drama....a little bit of everything! Just my style! I have a couple by him I haven't read yet and I've been reading the 'teasers' trying to decide which I want to start next.....I'll let you know when I decide!
Gianna is watching Spongebob, her absolute favorite right now along with her Elmo Songs DVD - I think she's about ready for dinner and Beej will be home any minute! It's Monday night! I think tomorrow we will go meet our besties for some yummy lunch at McDonald's and some super fun play time! Thank God for dear friends!!!!
I spent the day with my family today while Beej was at work. Helped my mom with some stuff around the house - moving the boys rooms around to accomodate my brother's "new" drum set. And helped clean up a few things. Dad grilled out which was nice - way to much food as usual but still nice!! Beej came out for dinner and to help Kenneth get his drums in playing order......made s'mores! Yummy! Gianna was covered in chocolate and marshmallows! But she was happy! And afterwards when we got home I bathed her and she went right to bed, no problems! I think she was pretty tired!
Yesterday I picked Gianna up and she put her arms around my neck and said "I Love you, Momma"!!! It melted my heart!!! It was the first time she had ever said it on her own accord! I was so happy! She is so sweet!
Wrote a few lyrics today, nothing solid yet. Gotta work it into a song and find a melody of course but I like the idea. I often get ideas from hearing lyrics wrong. I'll think they say one thing but then when I go look at the lyrics that's not what it says at all then I'm stuck with my original idea!!! Lol! I know sounds cheesy but it's always worked for me and most of the time it has nothing to do with the song idea I was just listening too!!! Anyway, we'll see how it goes!!!
It's Wednesday....not alot happened today. I spent the day hanging out on Facebook, finished reading Rose Madder by Stephen King (good book but the language was a bit much for me!), and I started Dolores Claiborne by the same......hung out with Gianna, she insisted on wearing her shoes all day and got mad when I took them off for nap time. She's done Ok without the sippy cup as far as sleeping but she still gets really mad when I won't let her have it in her crib. But she's waking up almost dry now! Which is a great thing, our goal for the potty training ahead!
I started "back" on my diet again today. I stuck with it steady for just over 3 weeks, eating right and walking at least 2-3 miles a day and I lost almost 12lbs. I was thrilled! Fitting in some jeans I haven't been able to but then I
"fell off the band wagon" and I've gained a few of those pounds back and I am unhappy with it, of course! So I started back today and did great - usually if I can get one day under my belt without "messing up" I know I'll be able to get back in the swing of things. I feel so much better when I'm eating right and exercising yet I can't seem to stick to it at all....I don't understand myself.
I still haven't written any new songs. I just don't seem to have the inspiration or the right words right now. I'm not sure what I'm looking for exactly. I know it isn't going to just fall in my lap but still.....I know I have so many things to write about but finding a way to say them that doesn't sound generic and overused is my problem.
Beej and the guys in Jupiter Wind are headlining a tour this fall called "A Night of Hope". I'm really excited for them! Their opening act is a young up and coming artist named Nate Huss. You can check his music out at myspace.com/natehuss. Great music, super talented and seems to have a great heart! I know the guys are looking forward to touring with him. He has a beautiful wife and an adorable baby girl!
The trailer is out for the movie New Moon which is set to hit theaters November 20th! I am beyond excited and thrilled! I read the Twilight Series around the beginning of the year and fell in love with them! I think the Twilight movie was amazing but the book was so much better! I know that alot of Christians jumped on the "Twilight Bashers train" but I think people should read it before they go judging it. It's a beautiful love story between two people who have to overcome differences and difficulties to make their relationship work. It's clean and a simple love story that will touch anyone's heart. I know alot of people are worried that their daughters will have "false expectations" of a man if they read about the character Edward. But I think we need to encourage love in the right time and right place. I don't think that Edward and Bella encourage anything but simple, open love for another person. I love a good love story and this one to me is perfect!!! My best friend adn I already have a girl's night out planned to see the next movie out!!!
Well I am off to bed....another day tomorrow. Not much planned but Thursday evening starts the weekend for us! Beej only has one more week officially at his "job"!!! Changes are happening!!!
Yes, it is indeed June. Already. How the time is flying even as we speak. I am having a rough day because Gianna is having a rough day. She got up in a seemingly good mood but around mid morning just lost it. I think it's because her youngest uncle showed up and they don't get along in any way shape or form. He is the youngest child in my family and feels entitled to being treated like a prince especially when his older siblings are gone, as they are now. And he also thinks it's his right to pick on Gianna and do everything within his power to upset and torture her. Thus even though I have attempted to keep the peace between them I don't know that I have succeeded at all. She is crying and whining about everything. Even after a nap, which I hoped would cure her blues, she is still ill and easily provoked to cry. I am hoping that 8pm comes quickly tonight.
Since it is the first day of June and the beginning of the week I decided to take away Gianna's sippy cup at naptime and bedtime. Nap time went well, she asked for it and I told her big girls didn't have sippy cups in bed and she huffed and rolled over. I am hoping tonight goes just as easily. So far the things I have feared the most with Gianna haven't even seemed to faze her. I am praying this continues on through moving into a toddler bed and potty training! Perhaps being difficult in somethings has made her easy going in others.
I managed to lay out and get a little sun today! I don't know how much time I'll get to spend at the pool this summer. Luckily I think the whole white/vampire look is in right now!!! Lol! But I am no Bella Swan, white skin does not become me! I put in an application for a job last night. The first one I have officially submitted in like uh, 3 or more years! I am nervous yet excited! Hoping it'll all work out if I do get the job. I don't want to put Gianna into daycare....well, I won't put her into daycare. If I can't find someone to help watch her when Beej can't I'll just not be able to take the job.
Well, I am off to make spaghetti for dinner! I am hungry and tired and looking forward to bedtime for Gianna and my brother so that I can curl up and finish reading "Rose Madder" by Stephen King. A captivating book so far and I am eager to finish it!!!
